Quickly, before this lame public spyware-filled computer crashes on me again and these clueless high-school kids want to ask me on a date again...
Dear OJ Simpson,
Recently I saw on Good Morning America that you were planning a tour to help repair your public image.
I'm thinking you're thinking that murder trial you had about 10 or so years ago ruined your public image.
I beg to differ. You destroyed your public image when you stole DirecTV from your neighbors. And when you have to steal DirecTV from your less famous neighbors, that's sad.