Dear Elijah Blue Allman,
According to the Scoop, last week you went on this guy's show
and said you had sex with this, um, person
and then said you cleaned your penis with something like this.
Please tell me you're kidding.
I mean, you know you can get a serious burning sensation from putting Tilex on your penis because you think you might be getting a burning sensation from sleeping with Paris, right?
Found at Best Week Ever
(Pics: Wikipedia, The Scoop @ MSNBC.com, Tilex.com)