Re: Your concert in South Africa

Dear


(I hate to type your group name),

You're performing a concert for the kids later this month.

Okay, so the concert is free and you're doing it for the kids that have never seen a concert in their lives. Awww. (rolling eyes)

I mean, you're the perfect role models for children. Not only do you have songs that depict people in positive lights such as "Let's Get Retarded" and "My Humps" (ick), you have songs with positive messages in the title such as "Don't Phunk With My Heart." There's nothing potentially offensive about your music at all.

You even have a commitment to showing up to performances sober so that your fellow performers such as the White Stripes can perform on time. That really wet mark in your pants, Fergie? Without a doubt, they're sweat stains.

I'm sure that your performance will be so uplifting that people ask to have their money back for a free concert. Prepare to pay up.


Penny Woods

(Pics: Amazon.com, MS Special)