Saturday, May 20, 2006

Re: "Firecrotch"

(By reader request--thanks MizMonica6!)

Dear Paris Hilton,

Saw that "Firecrotch" thing on Best Week Ever the other day.

I bet you thought you looked intelligent while Brandon Davis (that twit oil millionaire's son) was like, "oh, Lindsay Lohan has a firecrotch. I don't know if there's, you know, actual fire in her crotch, let alone STDs, but I wouldn't do her anyway. I'd do her imprisoned daddy. Oh, yeah, she's broke, too, because she only makes seven million dollars."

You couldn't look any dumber.

One of the commenters on BWE said that House of Wax was just as brilliant as Just My Luck was. I agree with him.

You know what, though?

By having a moronic oil millionaire's son diss whom you consider an enemy instead of doing the dirty work yourself, you look more weak and pathetic than you already are.

And besides, why have someone claim that Lindsay Lohan has a firecrotch when you've been accused of having a firecrotch yourself? I mean, you did star in your very own unsanctioned pornographic film, 1 Night in Paris, and you can still buy copies of it (in this state!) through Adam & Eve.

Next time think before you attempt to diss, okay? And get your own balls when you attempt to diss next time, not some other random D-list nobody's.

Wishing you well along your path of idiocy and obscurity,

Penny Woods


Zeezy4Sheezy said...

I saw that as well... If 7 mil means being broke then I'm homeless and desolate

Anonymous said...


The Hive Mind said...

If broke is having 7 million in the bank, I'll take it.

Miss Kitty said...

I'm SO glad someone said what I was thinking about the whole "firecrotch" thing--it's as if you read my mind, Penny. If anyone has "fire" around the ol' hoo-ha, it's Paris. Just because she & Greasy Boy are rich doesn't mean they can't have STDs.