Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Re: Get over it already!

Dear Terry McMillan,

I love your novels. How Stella Got Her Groove Back is one of my favorite novels of all time. I don't care if you still regret the relationship that spawned the book. I'll still love that book.

Recently you've gone on a campaign to explain how embarrassed you are for marrying your ex-husband. Granted, he could have be more upfront about his sexual tendencies, but damn, you seriously have some broken gaydar.

You've whined about your relationship (and how dangerous you think Jonathan is) on Oprah. You've whined about it on BET. Now you're going to write a memoir about it.

At this rate, you will spend the rest of your life driving the rest of the world (that cares) crazy with how much you regret marrying a gay man.

Look, Terry, I want you to write more novels--and not about how much you hate Jonathan for deciving you. Get back to basics. Write more novels (that may be turned into terrible films) like Stella or Waiting to Exhale. (For the record, I thought Disappearing Acts the movie was good.) If you keep bitching about how much Jonathan apparently ruined your life in your books, I'm going to order a book-burning of every book released after your memoir. I hate to do it--I oppose book burnings because classic books such as The Satanic Verses could have been lost forever if some copies of those books were not preserved--but for the sake of the world (that cares), I will threaten to do it.

Penny Woods

(Pics:, MS Special)

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