Thursday, April 27, 2006

Re: The National Anthem

By reader request, here is the letter I've been dying to write (at least at this moment)! I would have had this up earlier, but I'm in the middle of writing a 12 page paper at the last minute. I'm sure you understand.

Dear Musiq (do you use Soulchild nowadays, or is that just a thing in the past?):

As a lot of us know by now, you butchered the National Anthem at the Michael Jordan All-America game.

Damn, when news announcers are making fun of you and the channel that they work for puts a stream of the incident on the Internet for all to view, I have no sympathy for you. They even spelled your name wrong (as music soul child)! I wonder if you're going to write to them about how the interns there misspelled your nom de plume or not. I'm guessing you won't for fear of being heckled by those same interns that will most likely not change your name on your website because they're still laughing at that footage too hard to put their fingers on their keyboards.

Did you not see this lady get heckled for forgetting the National Anthem at a hockey game? Did you not know the consequences?

Did you not watch The Jacksons: An American Dream? The Jackson Five learned the National Anthem at the last minute (at least according to the movie). If you didn't know the National Anthem, why didn't you look up the lyrics (all you needed to do was
Google United States National Anthem lyrics) and learn them before you stepped on that court?

Oh, yeah, aren't you a recording artist? Aren't you supposed to know the National Anthem better than all the people that don't win American Idol each season?

If Rhonetta knows the National Anthem better than you do, you may as well get a poncho because in the future popcorn and nacho cheese is going to be thrown when you try to sing the National Anthem. And yes, if they let you go on a golf course and sing the National Anthem, there will be people that are going to sneak popcorn and nacho cheese onto the course. Trust me.



Penny Woods

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1 comment:

The Hive Mind said...

This is bad. I wonder if Musiq's fans wonder he'll forget the words to his own songs at his concerts now.