Re: Your album

Dear Paris Hilton,


You want to work with Three 6 Mafia for your album.

You're an heiress of the Hilton estate, you model, you have a ferret, Bambi, Tinkerbell and some other dogs you just bought from Japan, you have a show which seems like it will never end (especially since it's now rerun on E! all the time), and now you want a pimp cup because "It's Hard Out [There] For A Pimp."

Okay, you didn't actually say that, but I bet that's what you're thinking. I know, becoming a pimp's hot, right?

The last time I checked you were not a pimp.

If it makes you feel better, I will make you a pimp.

Look, take my pimp cup.


There. Now you won't have to work in the studio claiming that you're gonna "Stay Fly" and that you're "Poppin' [Your] Collar."

Cheap puns, I know. But I bet that's what you're thinking, Paris.


Penny Woods

(Pics: crunk and disorderly, Iced Out Gear, MS Special)