Thursday, February 23, 2006

Re: "Fuck You, You're Famous"

Dearest Jan,

I'm compelled to write a response to the "Fuck F#ck Me I'm Famous" shirt.

I'm not going to get on you with the weight. Yes, I prefer you at your size 0 best...but that's because the whole world is, by now, used to seeing you as a size 0, and if they've seen you not as a size 0, then at least certain people that saw you on Fame and Young DeBarge still think you had James DeBarge's love child...according to them you got pregnant in mid-summer '84 and had the child before the American Music Awards in '87 or something like that.

I'm not going to get on you with your choice of restaurants, namely this Italian place you went to in the Beverly Glen (wherever that is, since I've never been to the West Coast in my life, and I really don't care).

What I will say is this: The only person fucking you has to be Jermaine Dupri, so you can take that shirt off right now unless you want to fail at pulling some tricks on Sunset Boulevard.

I still love you, though!

With the upmost respect,

Penny Woods

(Pics: Just Jared, MS Special. Inspiration: crunk and disorderly. Special thanks: DListed and Concrete Loop for the picture links.)

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