Okay. So you're not famous people, but you are a famous channel. Today you get the honor of being a single famous person. Yay for you.
At the risk of showing my bias in sports, I will proceed to tell you why your trip to Durham for College GameDay will be in vain.
So I'm eating dinner, ESPN. I'm watching your crappy Around the Horn show and wondering why the hell smug-ass Jay Mariotti is still on the show when you advertise the UNC/
Then all of a sudden you mention you're introducing a "Cameron Crazy Cam," whatever the hell that is.
ESPN, I really think that you're a bit deluded on thinking that the Cameron Crazies are the "country's best sixth man" only because they don't want to waste money attempting to make their stadium bigger to accommodate more fans, let alone students. (They're increasing tuition soon at
And ESPN, you should see the Crazies. I just went over there for the women's basketball game, and, like every other women's game, there were less
Whenever the Tar Holes start chanting "Let's Go Tar Holes" and we're in the lead, point to the scoreboard and say "Scoreboard, scoreboard," etc.
Lo and behold, those Cameron Crazies did that for the women's game around halftime.
Lo and behold, the
The Crazies' material is so fresh, ESPN! Maybe you can give the Crazies a new nickname. How about the Cameron Cornies! Now that's a name that describes the Crazies perfectly.
ESPN, do you think their game attire is "clever?" Ooh, the opposing team is scared by some morons that are dressed up like Ronald McDonald (for a Georgia Tech game last year) or the characters from The Wizard of Oz (the UNC men's game three years ago) or the Blues Brothers after our band skit (the UNC men's game last year) instead of dressing up in their school colors! Please! It is not that hard to dress up in
Okay, okay, so I was at the UNC home game this year where some wackos dressed up in Hawaiian shirts and life preservers for Miami. Other than than, most everyone that gets in the risers at UNC men's games wears Carolina blue and white.
At this year's women's game, I saw some of the lamest signs, shirts and makeup jobs known to mankind. Two girls with signs: "Our women's team/Can defeat your men's team." (N.B.: No one cares about men's basketball at a women's basketball game.) A girl with a shirt reading "I'm with the cheerleaders" with a makeup job inspired by The Ultimate Warrior.
(Okay, I've had some lame makeup jobs on my face, too. I should let that go. But the Ultimate Warrior is a crazy motherfucker.) A guy with a shirt: "Not our rivals" (no comment--it would be too lengthy to print, and this post is already too long).
The cheers were also lousy as well: The band has invented a drum beat for the cheer "Go to hell, Carolina, go to hell." There was the inane cheer for the
In closing, ESPN, I know you probably won't share in my general hatred of the Cameron Crazies. They're just a bunch of hopeless students that feel their only chance of fame is to go to a
(P.S.: America, I'm sorry if I offended your sports sensibilities here--I don't mean to offend fans of
(P.P.S.: Love, I'll be the first to send you a picture of a gay man rockin'
(Pics: ESPN, Wikipedia, MS Special)