Saturday, July 08, 2006

Re: Your lawsuit

I know you're not famous, Allen Heckard, but you need a letter.

You're suing Nike and Michael Jordan for over $800 million...because you get mistaken for Michael Jordan and you refuse to wear anything else but Nike shoes to seperate yourself from your faux Michael Jordan image.

You get compared to Michael Jordan and instead of either accepting it or exploiting it like a master of identity theft, you act like Michael Jordan ran you over with 200 stretch H3s and because you think Michael Jordan ran you over with 200 stretch H3s, you feel like you need over $800 million.

I mean, I did that thing where a website tells you what famous people you resemble (I got the link from DListed, I forgot the actual link) and it told me I looked like a whole bunch of people I don't think I look like...including Vin Diesel.

That does not mean that I'm going to sue Vin Diesel for The Pacifier money because the money from The Pacifer is about as bad as drug money.

I'm just amazed that a judge hasn't thrown out your case yet and sent you to a mental hospital, because if I was handed your case in court, I would do exactly that after I saw your plaintiffs on the paperwork.

Penny Woods


The Hive Mind said...

*sigh* This is just sad and one of the dumbest lawsuits ever. I'd be shocked if this lawsuit actually gets anywhere.

911 said...

Dudes an idiot its really that's hoping that you don'y in any way resemble Vin

Zeezy4Sheezy said...

the funny thing about Mr. Heckford is that he isn't even 6'6... Now because I have chocolate skin and a bald head and happen to be tall does that mean I'm entitled 2