Friday, May 05, 2006

Re: That new Ice-T show on your network

Dear VH1,

Seriously, how did I miss your announcement about the Ice-T reality show where he teaches prep school kids how to rap until I saw it on Fresh's site? All I remember is that little tidbit where Paul Wall was creating his own VH1, um, "Celebreality" show.

I'm guessing your latest staffers recognized Ice-T from old Behind the Music stock footage and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I bet your staffers don't even know who Body Count is and how Ice-T is affiliated with them. (I've heard that "Cop Killer." Y'all may want to pass on that little inflamatory song.)

I don't get why you're giving Ice-T a TV show. I should be happy because rarely do you see African-American men getting their own shows without embarrassing themselves (see your own Flavor of Love).

But your idea for Ice-T's show sounds too much like one of your earlier shows.

You remember that show that you completely ripped off School of Rock?

You know, Gene Simmons' Rock School?

I'm assuming that you thought with all the caskets and condoms and comic books that Simmons plasters the KISS characters on that Simmons was getting a bit too much money, so you were like "Let's hand Gene Simmons' Rock School to the next sucker that wants his own VH1 Celebreality show and tailor it to his needs so it looks like we never ripped off our own shows!"

Okay, okay. You found your sucker in Ice-T and you saved money by not flying your primary star to England and keeping him in New York.

One thing, though, before I close my letter: You do know this show will be as successful that Gene Simmons' Rock School, right?

Except Ice-T's new show will have a viewership of whoever's controlling programming in your control room.

Penny Woods

(Pics:, MS Special)

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