Sunday, April 23, 2006

Re: Your new album

Dear Sean Combs, since you have no idea whether you want to be called Puff Daddy, Puffy, P. Diddy, Diddy or Mr. Obnoxious,

I really have no idea what you're proposing for your new (and allegedly last) album, but I'm guessing it's going to have samples that will upset purists of rap and rock music yet again and sadly will remind America of last year's VMAs when you hosted.

"I'm taking from what I've learned from dance music, electro-clash, techno, hip-hop, soul and pop, and kind of fusing it together...It's still going to have that gangsta vibe to it, but it's a musical journey. It's going to feel good...We are going to bring a lot of high fashion, a lot of energy, a lot of sex, a lot of drugs, spirituality, good times...We're going to have something for the kids, but it's really an adult thing. It's definitely pornographic, orgasmic, gangsta, to the point where your soul feels good. It's like a spiritual revolution. It's like being sanctified." And if that sounds like an odd combo, Diddy sums it up as "Little Richard-style for the ladies."

In other words, you have no idea where your new album is headed except to hell.

Sounds good. I'll forget to buy it.

Penny Woods

(Pics: BBC News, MS Special)


Saun said...

Hey Penny! I found you through crunktastical. Good to see someone local doing their thing. (I'm in Raleigh)

As for the "The Greatest Beat-jacker of All Time" (cause that's what I call him), his album will bomb. I don't know why he's trying to hold onto a career that barely exists.

Hetairai said...

lol, someone sounds schizo