Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Re: Your Intel Commerical (An Open Letter to Mariah...Again)

Dearest Mimi,

Remember when you said that you didn't feel like doing advertisements? You know, because you said you didn't need the extra money or you wanted to be respected as an artist or something like that?

I've discovered that you're appearing in an Intel ad.

You ready to handle the Mooriah jokes that imbecilles at Perez Hilton and some other sites that worship Madonna vs. Mariah conflicts and such? I guess you are (in your own semi-ignorant way). You don't read the tabloids, you said; "[they're] not allowed in the vicinity of [you]," and I quote you from when the Grammy nominees were announced in NYC last December when we should have been honoring John Lennon, but no! We had to see people popping champange bottles on Extra (including you, but I like you!)...never mind. I guess I won't argue this point further.

I'm still curious about why you did it. I mean, it's not like you need any more money. It's not like you really needed to appear in a commerical because you need a comeback or you're d-listed. Is it the free press? I'm guessing it's the free press. I mean, it's not like you're married to Jack Denison or anything.

I'm going to convince myself it's the free press. It's gotta be the free press. It can't be anything other than the free press.

I'll still respect you as a singer and all, but, you know, you don't need whatever it is I'm trying to express with the words "free press." You know what I mean, right?

I'm sure you don't if I don't, but maybe we can get together at Jamba Juice sometime and figure it out.

With love as always,

Penny Woods

(Via Mariah Daily)

(Originally posted February 8, 2006 at Poserville USA.)

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