Dear John Cena (TM),
You're from a middle-class Massachusetts home. You went to college.
When you wear a shirt claiming that you've hustled and you're down, I have to draw the line.
Yes, it's a gimmick. Yes, a lot of marks don't realize it's a gimmick. Yes, you stole your gimmick from G-Unit and some other people I'm not sure of. No, you haven't admitted it. No, you can't rap, and your finishing moves suck ass. All you do is do a fireman's carry and call it a day. If you went in the hood you would be dead or addicted to something before the day's out (that is, unless you hang with the right people).
For the love of God, please give up the gimmick soon.
And, finally, I hope my Paul (read: Triple H) beats your ass good, win or lose, championship or no championship.
Penny Woods, the People's Chump