Monday, April 10, 2006

Re: Your weight

Okay, Nicole, let's try this again.

Okay, so originally I had said that you told Glamour that you were working so hard, you couldn't find time in your day to eat a damn sandwich. (Or at least that's what I'm interpreting [the sandwich part, at least]. At least you talked to Glamour--that's been established. My source is British--I don't trust British sources, especially the vicious and untrue British tabloids, so I'm a bit wary of my information.)

And then I put up this picture of you at DJ AM's party (from Hollywood Rag) and then claimed that you weren't at a healthy weight.

Your damn collarbone's sticking out and you look like Dixie Wentworth of MADtv's Cabana Chat when MADtv was good and not polluted with Stuart overkill. That ain't healthy. (For you or MADtv.)

And then I said you'd only be remembered for The Simple Life...which you shouldn't be remembered for because all you did is play with dogs and say "That's hot" in various locales in America. Woman, you actually make the cast (that hasn't left) That's So Raven look more talented than they actually are.

And I think that's it...except I linked to an old article about Calista Flockhart for some reason. But I think I won't include it in this letter for revision purposes.

Penny Woods

(And, as always, that other picture is from MS Special.) Posted by Picasa

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