Saturday, March 11, 2006

Re: Your weight loss

Dearest Jan,

DListed (through Michael K's awesome ablilty to get photos from that damn messageboard JJB) has put up some photos of you, and you've lost some weight. (Yay, your album's going to come out this year. Woot.)

I bitched about my concerns about you at DListed, but here I'm going to stop being concerned about your health (you're forever on a yo-yo diet, Jan! Why don't you hook up with Mimi and just be big together? You can't be that scared of Mimi's 400-person posse, can you?) and worry about your tastes in fashion.

I don't know if you've noticed, but when you're not a size 0 (I think you're the only person in America that will be happy when they're a size 0) you don't wear revealing clothing. When you are, the abs come out. And apparently so does the clothing that actually looks good on you. (Geez, I feel like I'm one of the Fuggers. And speaking of, maybe I was wrong--here's you on GFY with your boyfriend Jermaine Dupri a while back.)

Jan, you can look good in clothes and be a little overweight at the same time. You don't have to wear hideous scarves (in LA, of all places) and weird blue jackets with coat tails and
camouflage pants. Wearing clothing that isn't baggy and "woe-is-me" can boost your self-esteem up, and that's what you need considering that half the press you get nowadays is all about your weight (and your fansites are all, "we're trying to create new layouts for our webpages [since Kingdom Come] because all you do is sulk about your weight in your house in LA").

And if all else fails, there's always that "Fuck Off" shirt you wore after Nipplegate. That worked wonders (at least in Blender magazine).

I still love you, girl,

Penny Woods

(Thanks to Concrete Loop for the tip!)

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