After reading this (if indeed, you read the tabloids, but you don't, because they're comedy to you at this point)--
...High in the hills at Soho House L.A., Mike DeLuca, Rick Yorn and Patrick Whitesell hosted their annual "after-after party" for VIPs looking to cut loose after Vanity Fair's tightly scripted to-do at Mortons...--I'm concluding that you meant it, and for some strange reason, you were drunk.
"Everyone said I was fat, so I did something about it," slap-happy songbird Mariah Carey blurted to Page Six, seemingly out of nowhere.
"Here! Feel my thighs! Feel my butt!"
After several requests, Page Six agreed to fondle her newly firmed physique, and can confirm the absence of unsightly "jelly."
"See?" Carey said, proudly. "I'll never be a stick woman, but now I'm fierce!
I mean, I've seen what you do when you're drunk.
It's not that hard to imagine.
(Here was a glorious video showing a drunk Mariah Carey singing every part of the "Heartbreaker" remix in Europe after the European MTV VMAs. And when I mean every part, I mean her part and Da Brat's part and Missy's part. Leaning on the shoulders of some of her friends [Rachel, her choreographer] and showing off others [Jasmine Dotiwala], she botched up the song so much [this included letting the audience sing with her--a lot] that whichever MTV that showed the clip had to insert clips from the "Heartbreaker" remix video. I am not going to repost the video again, so please don't ask about the video being re-uploaded.)
This is the part where I get the cease-and-desist letter, but you know I still love ya,
(Pics: Mariah Daily [also for the tip], my own screenshots of Mariah Carey: In Her Own Words [from The Emancipation of Mimi Ultra Platinum Edition], MS Special)